Lyrics Section 3

[bohemian_mark]

MARK
Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist,
who ran naked through the Parthenon

[COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions.]

MARK AND COLLINS
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Look -- it's Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

ROGER
Oh hi

COLLINS
'Oh hi' after seven months?

ROGER
Sorry

COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK AND ROGER
Oh holy night

ROGER
You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?

ROGER
I was waiting for you, don't you know?

COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER
No flow

COLLINS
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!

[ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag,]
[with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand.]

ANGEL
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!

MARK
You earned this on the street?

ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Dahling -- be a dear -- haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee -- A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free -- and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour -- Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

[ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo.]

Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

[BENNY enters.]

BENNY
Joy to the world--
Hey, you bum -- yeah, you, move over
Get your ass off that range rover

MARK
That attitude toward the homeless is just what
Maureen is protesting tonight.

[Holding camera up to BENNY]
Close up: Benjamin Coffin the third, our ex-roommate
who married Alison Grey, of the Westport Greys -- then bought
the building and the lot next door from his
father-in-law in hopes of starting a cyber-studio.

BENNY
Maureen is protesting
Losing her performance space
Not my attitude

ROGER
What happened to Benny
What happened to his heart
And the ideals he once pursued?

BENNY
The owner of that lot next door
Has a right to do with it as he pleases

COLLINS
Happy birthday, Jesus!

BENNY
The rent

MARK
You're wasting your time

ROGER
We're broke

MARK
And you broke your word -- this is absurd

BENNY
There is one way you won't have to pay

ROGER
I knew it!

BENNY
Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see
And now that the block is re-zoned
Our dream can become a reality
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio
I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee
That you can stay here for free
If you do me one small favor

MARK
What?

BENNY
Convince Maureen to cancel her protest

MARK
Why not just get an injunction or call the cops

BENNY
I did, and they're on stand by
But my investors would rather
I handle this quietly

ROGER
You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city
Then watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV!

BENNY
You want to produce films and write songs?
You need somewhere to do it!
It's what we used to dream about
Think twice before you pooh-pooh it
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
You'll see -- the beauty of a studio
That lets us do our work and get paid
With condos on the top
Whose rent keeps open our shop
Just stop the protest
And you'll have it made
You'll see -- or you'll pack

[BENNY exits.]

ANGEL
That boy could use some prozac

ROGER
Or heavy drugs

MARK
Or group hugs

COLLINS
Which reminds me --
We have a detour to make tonight
Anyone who wants to can come along

ANGEL
Life support's a group for people coping with life
You don't have to stay too long

MARK
First I've got a protest to save

ANGEL
Roger?

ROGER
I'm not much company you'll find

MARK
Behave!

ANGEL
He'll catch up later -- He's just go other things on his mind
You'll see boys

MARK AND COLLINS
We'll see boys

ROGER
Let it be boys!

COLLINS
I like boys

ANGEL
Boys like me

ALL
We'll see.